Santa Banta Joke

Santa ki shaadi ke 3 mahine baad hi beta ho gaya.
Santa: Ye 3 mahine mein bacha kaise ho gaya?
Biwi: Aapki shadi ko kitna time hua hai?
Santa: 3 mahine.
Biwi: Aur meri shadi ko?
Santa: 3 mahine.
Biwi: Aur bachcha kitne time baad hua?
Santa: 3 mahine baad.
Biwi: Total kitne mahine ho gaye?
Santa: Ohh teri vakai, 9 mahine ho gaye!
time ka pata hi nahi laga?

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Wife bathroom se naha ke nikli to Santa use ghur raha tha!

Wife romantic hokar:
Kuch karne ka irada hai kya?

Santa 2 thappad maar ke bola:
Mere garm pani se kyu nahayi!!

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Santa Car ki Battery change karwane gaya.
Mechanic: Sahab, Exide ki Daal doon?
Santa: Nahin yaar,
Dono side ki daal de warna phir Problem hogi.

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Santa pe bijli ki taar gir gayi:
Santa tadap tadap ke mrne hi wala tha.

ki

Use yaad aaya..
bijli to 2 din se bnd hai,
wapas uth gaya or bola:
Sala! dara diya..!!

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Daku bank lutne gaye..
gun ghar me inbhul gaye
fir bhi bank lut lia

kaise?

bank manager santa tha, bola:
koi baat nai i trust u,
gun muje kal dikha dena.

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One day,
A Chini was in hospital.
Santa went to meet him…
Chini said “CHING CHONG, MOU.CHU CHA” & died.
SANTA went china to know the meaning,
that was:
KUTTE OXYGN K PIPE SE PAIR Utha.
Pipe se saans nahi le paya..

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Santa Banta ne Hindi ka home work nahi kiya tha…
Hindi teacher ne unko ped par ulta latakne ki saza di.
Thodi der latakne ke baad Santa neeche gir gaya.
Hindi Teacher: Thak gaye kya?
Santa: Nahi pakk gaya..!!
isliye gir gaya.

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Santa - My wife died yesterday..
I'm trying to cry but tears are not come out,
what to do?
Banta - No Problem.
Just Imagine she Came Back.

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Santa dabang dekh ker aaya,

School mei…

Sir: santa tumhare sare ans. galat hn,
marks de to kahan?

Santa: Kamal karte hai sirji, marks hi to mang rahe hai,chup chap de do warna thappad mar k b le sakte hai.

Sir: Badtamiz
kya bak rha hai?

Santa: Badtamiz se yaad aya sir, apke papa kaise hai?

Sir: nikal ja class se!

Santa: Chup chap se marks de do sir, warna ans sheet me itne chhed karunga, ki confuse ho jaoge ki marks kaha de aur zero kahan!!

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IIT exam,
Santa got 1 question.

Prove
Sin x = 6n
Santa cancelled ‘n’ from both the sides.
Then
six=6
&
wrote:
“Kuch to standrd rakha karo IIT k ques ka”!!!!!

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Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?

Santa: Suicide karne ke liye

Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai?

Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye

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Santa applied for the position of Mechanical Engineer. In interview:

Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?

Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr…..

Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.

Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup…

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Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?

Santa: George Washington’s skeleton.

Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?

Santa: That was Washington’s skeleton when he was a child.

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Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.

Santa: Who r u?

Girl: Seeta here.

Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, ye Ayodhya kaise chala gaya?

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Santa: Woh ladki kitni sundar hai!

Banta: Mujhe uska naam pata hai.

Santa: Kya naam hai uska?

Banta: Woh bank mein kaam karti hai,

Uske counter ke upar uska naam likha tha “CHAALU KHAATA”

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Santa ke bagiche mein bahut sare ped – paudhe thay,

Santa naukar ko bola ped-paudhon ko pani dal.

Naukar: Sahab baarish ho rahi hai.

Santa: Abe to Chatri leke dal.

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A sardarji went to a

STD/ISD/PCO SHOP and

slapped the operator twice.

:-( Guess why ?

bcoz there it was written

"Number dial karnay se pehley do lagain"

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Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS:

"Me sick, no work"

Boss SMS back:

"When I am sick I kiss my wife try it"

2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss:

"Me ok, ur wife very sweet"

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Teacher: How Do You Differentiate

"WIFE" & "MOTHER"

SARDAR:

Before Marriage We Sleep With "MOTHER"

&

After Marriage

We Sleep With Our "WIFE"

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Professor:Chemical symbol of Barium?

Sardar: BA

Professor:For sodium?

Sardar: NA

Professor:What will we get if 1 atom of BA

& 2 atoms of NA combined?

Sardar: BANANA

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Sardar's Leave application

Dear Sir,

My wife is ill.

As there is no other Husband

in the family to look after her,

Kindly grant me leave for one day.

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Sardars Friend: Yaar,

Last Year The Name Plate Outside Your House

Read Santa Singh, B.A.

This Year It Reads Santa Singh, M.A.

When Did You Finish Your Masters Degree?

Sardar: You Dont Understand.

Last Year My Wife Died,

I Put B.A. To Indicate �Bachelor Again�.

Then I Took A Second Wife, So M.A. Is �Married Again�.

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A sardar went to Pizza Hut.

There he ordered a Pizza.

The Waiter asked him:

Sir shell I cut it into 4 pieces or 8 pieces.

Sardar replied:

O 4 hi le aa yaar,

8 to nahin khaye jayein gay

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