Monday, October 8, 2012

Gujarati Funny Jokes

An Ahmedabadi called the obituary section of a leading local newspaper. He inquired-”Tell me, how much would it cost to have an obitualry printed in your Newspaper”.

The ad clerk politely told him, “It would be Rupees 100 a word, sir!”

“Thats fine”, said Lalloobhai Ahmedabadi after a moment of cost calculation.

“OK, then take them down, Jagdukaka Dead” He dictated to the clerk.

“Oh, that’s all?” asked the clerk anticipating big writeup for dear ones.

“Yes, that’s it. And charge rupees two hundred to my credit card, please, here is number”.

“Hold it Sir, I am sorry, but I should have informed you that the Ad must be for minimum five hundred rupees and you may have minimum five words”.

Lalloobhai got annoyed at the failures of his cost calculations. He blasted the Clerk, “Yes, you should have told me that, ahead”.

After a moment of updating his cost versus benefit calcs, he loudlly dictated again, “OK write, Jagdukaka dead, Honda for Sale”.

*******

Ek Short Gujarati man train chadne laga to akashvani hui: Yeh train patri se utar jaegi. Gujarati man train nahi chada.
Short Gujarati man plain pe chadne laga to akashvani hui: Yeh crash ho jaega. Voh fir vapis aa gaya.
Short Gujarati man bus pe baithne laga to avaz aai: Is ka accident ho jaega.
Short Gujarati: Aap kon ho Ji?
Avaz aai: Bhagwan.
Short Gujarati man: Jab mein ghori chadane laga tha, to aap kahan the ji?

*******

Mean of Gujarati

G– genuis

U – understanding

J – jolly

A – amazing

R – rocking

A – aggresive

T – tough

I – intelligent

Means gujarati have all qualities.

*******

Two Sweet Gujaratis, both student of I.I.T, Kanpur, were talking about the American Astronauts.
First Gujarati: What’s big in going to the moon, anybody can go there. We are Gujaratis. We will go direct to the sun.

Second Gujrati: But sun is too hot, it will melt us.

First Gujarati: So what, we will go at night.

*******

A Gujarati decides to study English. He learns an essay ‘FRIEND’, but in the exam an essay on ‘FATHER’ comes.

He replaced friend with father in the essay. It read:

I am a very fatherly person, I have many fathers. Some of my fathers are male and some are female. I have a new neighbor, I wish to make him my new father.


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