Eid SMS

I wish you all a very happy & peaceful Eid.

May allah accept your good deeds forgive your TRANSGRESSION & case d sufferings of all peoples around d globe. 

Happy Eid Mubarak!!!!

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LONESOME without you, Each and every moments. 

When i am alone I close my eyes and think of you and thoughts of your love warms Me inside and makes me smile. miss you a lot.

Eid Mubarak!!!!!

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May GOD SEND his Love like Sunshine in his warm and gentle ways to fill every corner of your Heart and filled your Life with a lot of Happiness like this EID DAY.

Wishing you EID MUBARAK!!!!

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May the blessings of Allah fill your life with happiness and open all the doors of success now and always.

” Eid Mubarak!!!!”

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Wishing U a Very Very “HAPPY EID MUBARAK” Wid Luv And Best Wishes.

May That Eid Day Brings LOT of Happiness And JOYS in your LIFE. May u Live Long

And That Eid  day Will comes in your life Hundred Times.

Remember me in your prayers.

Eid Mubarak!!!!

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Each n every moments.

When i am alone I close my eyes n think of u N thoughts of your love warms Me inside and makes me smile. miss you a lot. 

Eid Mubarak!!!!!

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For This, Is A Special Time When Family And Friends Get Together,

For Fun.Wishing Laughter And Fun TO Cheer Your Days,

In This Festive Season Of EID And Always ! ! !

Eid Mubarak!!!!!

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EID-UL-Fitr” and wishing that, it brings your way ever joys and happiness.

Remember me in your prayers.

Eid Mubarak!!!!!

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Look Outside Its So Pleasant!

Sun Smiling For You Trees Dancing For You Birds Singing For You Because I Requested Them All To Wish You .

**..*EID MUBARAK*..**

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Good Morning SMS

Living in the favorable and unfavorable situation is called Part of living. But,

smiling in all those situations is called Art of living. 

Have a Good Day!!!!

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God sprinkles tiny but wonderful seeds of blessings on earth each day…

And I just caught one that’s so nice and true…

it’s you!!!!

Have a Good Day!!!!

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The single finger which wipes out tears during our

failure is much better than the 10 fingers which comes together

to clap for our victory!!!

Have a Good Day!!!!

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We never hv what we like, we never like what we hv still we live,

luv n hope that some day we’ll get what we luv or luv what we hv!!!

That’s life.!!!

Have a Good Day!!!!

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A day may start or end without a message from me, bt believe me…

It wont start or end without me thinking ov u… See,

I just did! Take care!

Have a Nice Day!!!!

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There are two eternities that can really break u down,Yesterday & Tomorrow.

One is gone & other doesnt exist!!!!

So live today only..

Have a Wonderful Day!!!!!

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Search for truth and you shall find beauty.

Search for beauty and you shall find love.

Search for love and you shall find God.

Search for God and you shall have them all!!!

Have a Good Day!!!!

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Whatever happens 2 ur day just relax & manage to make a smile.

Life is not a problem 2 b solved but a gift 2 b enjoyed.

Make Everyday ur best day!

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Love SMS

I decided to stay quite

when you hurt me!

Because if I hurt you back

eventually it is gonna hurt me

more than you!

Please call me… I love you!

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Once I saw an Angel.

Can it b u…!

I wnt to talk to her.

But can I do…!

After every thing I have to say.

I love u…!

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When lots of pple starts to love,

u may get confused whom to love,

just tell them I hate u,

everyone will get back

but not the person who loves u truly

and thats ME.

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You have a heart,

I have mine too if they’re apart,

mine feels really blue if they’re really blue,

I don’t know what to do.

It’s just beats faster and faster! Shouting I LOVE YOU !

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When you love

you get hurt.

When you get hurt

you hate.

When you hate

you try to forget.

When you try to forget

you start missing.

When you start missing

you fall in love again..!

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You Are The First Thing I Think About

When I Wake Up

Just Thinking Of You Put The

Biggest Smiles On My Face

Every Love Song I Listen To

I Think Of You

I Will Do Anything In This World For You

Coz You Are My World N Everything,

Baby I Love You!………

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Awesome-Funny Jokes

Bhikari- Roti do sahab..

Gharme se awaz aayi- aage jao ghar me biwi nhi hai...

Bhikari- aabe roti mangi hai CHUMA nhi maga kamine..

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Ek bar engineering ke sabhi Professores ko

ek plane mein bithaya gaya..

Fir announce kiya gaya ki

?YE PLANE APKE STUDENTS NE BNAYA HAI?

Sab profesrs utar gaye?

Par principal baithe rahe

Logo ne pucha: Aapko Darr nahi lgta?

Principle: Muje apne studnts par pura bharosa hai.

Ye start hi nahi hoga!!

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Most STUPID questions people

usually ask in obvious situation..

.

1. At movies:" hey! What r u

doing here.. ??

.

Me:" tujhe nahi pata yaar.. ??

Mai yaha ticket black karne

aata hu..

.

2. In bus:" A fat lady steps onmy

feet:

"arey!! beta lagi to nahi..

.

Me:" Nai aunty bahot maja

aaya ek baar fir se karo na..

.

3. When i got woken up at

midnight by a call:" sorry yaar!

So raha tha kya.. ??

.

Me:" Nai yaar! Mai to bs late kr dekh rha tha nend hoti kaise h

.

4. when they see me with

shorter hair:

"yaar! Baal katwaye hai

kya.. ??

.

Me:" Pata Nahi Yaar!! raat ko

soya tha subah uth kar dekha

to andar chale gaye!!

.

5. When some 1 call me on

myland line n asks "where r

u.. ??

.

Me:" yaar mai market mai hu,

phone b gale me latka kar le

aaya hu..

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Ek garib kishan ka beta jail me tha...

us budhe kisan ne apne beteko jail me khat likha:"beta me aalu ki fasal nahi bo sakta,

Itna bada khet mujse nahi khudega kash tu meri madad kar pata.."

Bete ne wapas jawab diya:"papa aap khet mat khodna, mene waha hathiyar chhupa rakhe hai..

Agle din police force ne sara khet khod diya par hathiyar nahi mila...

Bete ne fir baap ko likha:"papa yaha se me itni hi madad kar pauga,

Aap ab aalu uga dijiye... :p :O :D :D

Hahahaha

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This one is New and Awesome (must read)

Love is a Post Card,

Life is a Visiting Card,

Wife is a Memory Card,

pati is ATM card

girl friend is a Debit card

saali is a Recharg card

Mother father is Pan card

saala is a " FARZI CARD "

child is a Identity card

But Friends are .......

.

.

.

.

.

.

"AADHAR" Card

sale Har jagah pe Kaam Aayege- ?

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Santa-Banta Comedy Jokes

Jeeto: If I were to die unexpectedly, what would you be left with?

Santa: Probably 30-40 years of peaceful and blissful life!

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"Why didn't you deliver that message as instructed?" Santa asked his servant.

Servant: I did the best I could, sir!

Santa: The best you could! If I had known I was going to send a donkey, I would have gone myself!

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Banta went into a barber shop and said, "I 
want my hair cut so that it's all different lengths round the front and back, there's a strange spiky bit on top and bald patches here, here and here".

"I don't think I can do that", said the barber.

Banta: Why not? You did last time I was here!

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Santa went to his bank manager and said, "I'd like to start a small business. How do I go about it?"

'Simple', said the bank manager. "Buy a big one and wait."

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Banta: Talking about Africa makes me think of the time...

Bored Santa: Good gracious, you're quite right. I had no idea it was so late. Goodbye!

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Santa: A friend of mine had an arguement with his wife so they decided to flip a coin to choose a name for their new son.

Banta: So what exactly did they name him?

Santa: Tails!

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Banta: Why is it that almost all serial killers are men.

Santa: That's simply because women like to kill only one man slowly and steadily!

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Banta: Did you feel the vibrations of the earthquake?

Santa: Married men neither feel and nor are affected by vibrations or earthquakes!

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Jeeto in a pretty upset tone, "Why do you go out on the balcony whenever I sing? Don't you like to hear me?"

"It's not that', said Santa. "I just want the neighbours to see that I'm not beating my wife.

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Celebrating their silver wedding anniversary, Jeeto turned to Santa and said, "Will you still love me when my hair has gone grey?"

Santa: Why not? Haven't I loved you through six other shades?

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Santa: I nearly got hit by a woman driving a car this morning.

Banta: You seem to have had a narrow escape.

Santa: Yeah! I luckily I jumped out of the way just in time.

Banta: Which road was it?

Santa: Phew! Road? I was jogging in the park.

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Banta: What's Marriage?

Santa: Marriage is the 7th sense of humans that destroys all the six senses and makes the person Non-sense.

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Titanic was sinking. 

An englishman asked Santa,"How far is land"? 

Santa: 2 KMs. 

Englishman jumped into sea. 

Englishman: Now, which direction? 

Santa: Downwards!

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Santa: I have swallowed a kay. 

Doctor: When? 

Santa: 3 months back! 

Doctor: What were you doing till now? 

Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too. 

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A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell. 

Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days. 

Lady calls again,

Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.

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Santa:Give me one room with double-bed.

Hotel Manager: But Sir, you seem to be alone.

Santa: Yes. But I am married and I wish to enjoy silence from the other side of the bed!

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Santa is taking a woman home after their first date. When they get to her door,

he asks if he can come inside.

Woman: Absolutely not. I never ask a guy to come in on the first date.

Santa: All right. Then how about on the last date?

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In Santa's office, there was a very nasty smell on a very hot day.

One of Santa's co-worker couldn't take and remarked,

"Obviously someone's deodorant isn't working."

Santa in the corner shouted back,

"Well, it can't be me because I'm not wearing any."

***************

A kid bought stuff worth Rs 45 from Santa's shop and gave him a 5 rupee note and put '0' (zero)

behind 5 and gave it to Santa.

On top of it, he asked for the balance Rs 5.

Having been outsmarted, Santa took out a 50 rupee note and crossed '0' (zero)

with a pen and gave it to the kid and said, "Now we are even"!

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Santa: Candle light bubble baths are so relaxing.

Banta: Really?

Santa: Yep!

Banta: But when and where do you take it?

Santa: I don't take it. Every time my wife takes one, I get about an hour of peace and quiet.

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Santa took his wounded wife, Jeeto to a doctor.

Doctor: Can you describe as to what really happened?

Santa: Well, she got shot.

Doctor: You'll have to be more accurate.

Santa: I know, But I'm not very experienced with guns.

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Santa walks into a bar and asks for 10 shots of the finest single malt scotch.

The bartender sets him up and Santa takes the first shot in the row and pours it on the floor.

He then takes the last shot and does the same.

The bartender asks, "Why did you do that?" And Santa replies,

"Well the first shot always tastes like crap, and the last one always makes me sick!"

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Santa: I've just moved into my new flat and directly below me is a police station.

Banta: So how do you handle coming home late at night after drinking so much?

Santa: You don't understand. The police station being below, I'm above the law.

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Santa: A cop came up to me with a sniffer dog and said, "This dog tells me you're on drugs".

Banta: So what transpired?

Santa: I confronted him by saying. "I'm on drugs? You're the one talking to dogs".

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Santa: I committed a big mistake by marrying my 'Secretary'.

Banta: Marriage anyone is a big mistake, why pin-point just the poor 'Secretary'.

Santa: No it's not that. I thought that she'll still continue to obey my orders!

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Sholey Funny SMS

Amitabh  : Mausi   ladka “Infosys ” mein kaam karta hai…

Mausi      : Hai raam…

Amitabh  : Aajkal allocated bhi hai…

Mausi     : To kya kabhi unallocated ( i.e. bench pe) bhi rahta hai????

Amitabh : Ab C rating waalon ka allocation itni asaani se kahaan hota hai mausi …

Mausi     : To kya C rating bhi aati hai uski????

Amitabh : Project manager se ladaai karne ke baad A ya uske upar ki rating to nahin na milti hai mausi…

Mausi     : To kya ladaaku bhi hai????

Amitabh : Ab onsite jaane ko na mile to ho jaati hai kabhi-kabhi anban …

Mausi     : To kya onsite bhi nahin gayaa aaj tak????

Amitabh  : Ab civil engineers ka Visa itni jaldi kahaan lagta hai mausi…

Mausi      : To kya ladka  civil engineer hai???? Engineering kaun se college se kiya hai????

Amitabh  : Bas uska pataa lagte hi hum aapko khabar kar denge!!!!!

Amitabh   : To kya main rishta pakka samjhun mausi ??

Mausi     : Bhale hi hamaari Basanti call center waale se shaadi kar le, par INFY waale se kabhi nahin karegi…….

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Gabbar sends Kaalia and two others to Ramgad to collect the loot-maar software he had ordered.

They reach Ramgad and started shouting: “Abe O thakur! Kahan hai woh loot-maar software? 

Last date to kab ka nikal gaya “.

Thakur [with anger]: “Chillao mat! jaakar Gabbar se kah do ki Thakur Software walon ne 

paagal kutton ke liye software banana bund kar diya hai.”

Kaalia: “Bahoot garmi dikha rahe ho thakur? Koi naye programmers hire kiye hain kya?”

Thakur: “Nazar uttha ke dekh, Kaalia, tere sar par powerbuilder chal raha hai.”

Kaalia looks up and sees Viru  working on a PC on one Water tank and Jai on another, using a 

laptop.

Kaalia Starts Laughing and says: “Ha ha… Thakur ne freshers ko liya hai, Ye log Programming 

karenge? In ko to DOS commands bhi nahin aate.”

Veeru shouts: “Chup-chaap chala ja kutte. Hum log consultants hain, Kuch bhi kar sakte hain.”

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Jai hits his keyboard,then says: “jaao kaalia, Gabbar se kahna ki uska server down ho gaya .”

AT GABBAR’S DEN…

Gabbar: “Kitne bugs the?”

Kaalia: “Do sarkaar.”

Gabbar: “Wo do! Aur tum teen. Phir bhi fix nahi kar sake? Kya soch key aaye ho? Gabbar 

bahoot khush hoga? Naya assignment dega …aur increment bhi? Iski saza milegi… barobar 

milegi.”

[Snatches an X terminal from Sambaa]. “Kitne sessions hain is machine mein?”

Sambaa: “Chhey sarkaar.”

Gabbar: “Session chhey aur programmer teen. Bahoot naainsaafi hai.” [logout - logout - 

logout]. “Haan ab theek hai…ab tera kya hoga” Kaalia?”

Kaalia: “Sarkaar, maine aapka code likha tha.”

Gabbar: “To ab documentation kar!!!

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